Lesson in Fertility Control on the Journey to Single Motherhood
At the onset of my journey towards single motherhood by choice, I held a strong belief that conception would occur within three attempts. Taking control of my fertility felt empowering, leading me to believe I could dictate pregnancy's timing. This misconception is common among organized, planner-type individuals like myself. However, the path to single motherhood has taught me a profound lesson. Little did I know that the path to single motherhood would teach me a profound lesson: Taking Control of Your Fertility.
The Path to Surrender:
Some things are beyond our control, and I needed to learn to let go.
When I decided to become a single mother by choice and chose to conceive with a sperm donor, I felt a newfound sense of empowerment.
Learning to Let Go:
I was determined to take control of my destiny and shape my motherhood journey exactly as I envisioned it. But I failed to realize initially that aspects of this journey were beyond my control.
I had no say in whether the egg would fertilize, if my lining would be thick enough, or if the embryo would successfully implant.
Despite meticulously tracking my ovulation cycles and googling every possible thing one can do to get pregnant, the outcome remained uncertain.
This reality hit me hard, challenging my nature as a person who thrived on control and planning.
Learning to Surrender:
The lesson I needed to learn was one of surrender. It was a lesson that unfolded through 6 intrauterine insemination (IUI) attempts and 4 rounds of in vitro fertilization (IVF).
I had to come to terms with the fact that while I could control certain aspects, such as my diet, stress levels and mindset, I couldn't dictate the outcome of getting pregnant.
Surrendering to the process meant letting go of my fixation on the outcome. It meant shifting my focus from constantly wondering when I would finally get pregnant to the things I could genuinely influence.
It was a challenging adjustment that required me to redirect my energy towards self-care, stress management, and embracing the journey as it unfolded.
I had to accept that all of the struggles I was going through to get pregnant were happening for a reason.
Transformation and Growth:
But you know what?
This lesson transformed me not only as a prospective mother but also as an individual. It made me stronger, resilient, adaptable, and open to the unpredictable nature of life.
I learned that sometimes, despite our best efforts and intentions, life has its timeline. And in each struggle, there is a gem - something to learn.
Becoming a parent, especially a single mother by choice, has taught me the value of acceptance and going with the flow.
Parenthood's Unpredictability:
I've let go of striving to control every little detail and instead embrace the messiness of life and parenthood.
When raising a child, many things won't go according to plan. They'll have their agenda, whether refusing to sleep through the night, staying awake during nap time, or choosing to play over meals.
I've discovered the beauty of simply rolling with the punches each day. When my little one cries, even when I can't decipher the reason, I no longer feel frustration but rather an acceptance that she's experiencing something, and my role is to offer comfort in the best way I can.
Imagine the challenge if we couldn't communicate our needs! Embracing rather than expecting things to unfold a certain way has been a game-changer, making me a better parent and a more fulfilled individual.
Conclusion
In the end, while I may not have had control over the precise moment of conception, I discovered that real empowerment lies in navigating the unexpected and being willing to let go when necessary.
It's a lesson I carry with me on my journey through motherhood, which has been enriched by the wisdom of surrendering to the process.
- Reema
Have more questions, or need a sounding board through the process, find out more about my coaching service here.
If you want to learn more about my journey of becoming a Choice Mom, I invite you to check out my ebook, where I share my personal experiences and provide the self-inquiry questions and resources to help you on your choice mom journey.
But, if you're ready to explore whether coaching is right for you, book a consult today. Together, we can navigate this process and ensure you have the guidance and support you need to make confident choices. Because no woman needs to go through this process alone.
