3 Exercises to Break Free from Indecision in Solo Motherhood
Becoming a single mom by choice is one of the most extraordinary and empowering decisions you will ever make. Yet before you can get there, many uncertainties can leave us feeling stuck in indecision. When I started my journey, I felt the weight of countless questions on me:
Can I really do this on my own?
Am I being selfish for bringing a child into this world without a father?
What will the impact be on my child without a biological father?
What's holding me back from making this decision?
How do I even begin the process of getting pregnant with donor sperm?
How do I choose the right sperm donor?
How do I navigate telling my family and friends?
What if I meet someone during this journey?
How do I prepare myself for pregnancy?
What will I say when my child asks about their dad?
This overwhelming uncertainty left me feeling paralyzed to move forward.
From struggling with practicalities to dealing with deep emotional concerns, the path to becoming a single mother by choice seemed far from clear.
I had to wear my coach hat and ask myself questions for clarity. Self-coaching and personal development resources became invaluable tools during this reflective period.
3 Exercises for Deciding Single Motherhood
Here are three exercises to help you start to get unstuck and gain some clarity in making the decision:
1- Start with Your Why?:
Let's take a page from Simon Sinek's playbook and start with your WHY. Your 'why' is the driving force behind your decisions, dreams, and journey.
It's the compass that guides you when the path gets tough. Your 'why' is not just a reason but a force pushing you forward.
Visualize the Future: Take some time and visualize the future. What does your life look like as a mother? Picture your future self as a mom—see the joy, feel the love, and notice how it transforms your life.
Reflect on Your Motivation: From that visualization, ask yourself Why you want to be a mother? Starting with your 'why' can bring purpose and clarity into your decision-making, making the journey ahead feel less daunting.
2- Confront the Unknowns:
When faced with many unknowns, it can tend to paralyze us in moving forward.
List Your Questions: What questions do you need answered before starting this process? List them out. It's okay to have uncertainties; they're a natural part of this journey. Embrace the fact that not all answers need to be immediate.
Seek Answers and Allies: Who can help you answer these questions? Seek allies, whether the fertility clinic, a counselor or coach, other choice moms, family members, or a trusted friend.
Empower Yourself with Knowledge: Research plays a crucial role too—knowledge is power, and understanding the process can help alleviate some of the unknowns so we can take steps forward.
3- Facing Your Fears and Doubts:
When deciding to become a single mother by choice, the biggest challenge is processing our fears and doubts that tend to cloud our judgment.
Instead of letting these emotions control your narrative, face them head-on.
Acknowledge Your Fears: Start by writing out all your fears and doubts. Acknowledge them, and then begin to reflect.
Reflect on Their Origins: Spend time journaling about where these fears and doubts come from - is it from an experience or childhood? Are these fears based on assumptions you are making, or are they based on facts?
Reframe Your Perspective: How can you look at these fears differently? Confronting your fears head-on allows you to take control and move beyond the paralysis of indecision.
Moving Forward
Recognize that indecision is a part of the journey, not a roadblock. Every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory.
If you find yourself in need of support, don't hesitate to reach out. Your journey is unique, and so are the steps you take.
You're not alone, and there is strength in every woman who dares to chart her course.
Don't hesitate to seek support from those who understand your journey, as they can provide comfort and strengthen your resolve during moments of doubt.
Remember, each step forward is a small win on becoming a single mother by choice.
-Reema
Have more questions, or need a sounding board through this stage of the process, find out more about my coaching service here
If you want to learn more about my journey of becoming a Choice Mom, I invite you to check out my ebook, where I share my personal experiences and provide the self-inquiry questions and resources to help you on your choice mom journey.
But, if you're ready to explore whether coaching is right for you, book a consult today. Together, we can navigate this process and ensure you have the guidance and support you need to make confident choices. Because no woman needs to go through this process alone.
