7 Things to Consider before Choosing single motherhood
Becoming a single mom by choice is a life-changing decision. It's important to understand that it may not be the right choice for everyone. In this article, I discuss seven reasons why some women may decide not to choose single motherhood.
It's important for those struggling with this decision to understand these points.
7 Key Factors on Why Being a Single Mom is Hard
1- Emotional Resilience:
Becoming a single mom requires being emotionally strong. The journey is filled with highs and lows, and without a support system in place, the emotional toll can be overwhelming and exhausting.
You will need to find a way to surrender at times and flow in times of chaos. Some individuals may choose not to pursue this path if they feel their emotional resilience is not well-equipped for the challenges that may arise.
2- Financial Stability:
Raising a child as a single parent comes with financial responsibilities that can be daunting.
Without a partner to share the financial burden, ensuring stability and meeting the child's needs may become more challenging.
In my case as an entrepreneur, I have had to reduce the number of projects I normally take on to be there for my daughter, impacting our financial situation.
For those who may struggle to financially support themselves and their child, the prospect of single motherhood by choice may be a deterrent.
3- Social Support Networks:
Parenthood, especially as a single mother, necessitates a support system. Women who lack a reliable network of friends, family, or community may find the prospect of single motherhood more daunting.
Having a strong social support system is crucial for both you and the child. But at the same time, you can build this up by the time your baby arrives.
You just need to be willing to put in the work to make the connections and build the relationships that can support you when you need it.
4- Health and Well-being:
Physical and mental health is a critical consideration. The demands of pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum and the subsequent responsibilities of parenthood can take a toll on one's health.
There are endless items on your to-do list and an endless number of decisions to be made, making you feel mentally exhausted.
Some individuals may opt out of single motherhood by choice if they have concerns about their physical well-being and ability to manage the mental stress of it all.
5- Age and Fertility Challenges:
Unfortunately our bodies age, the challenges of conception and pregnancy increase.
For women over 40, the disappointments and uncertainties associated with trying to conceive may become overwhelming.
It broke me going through round after round. Failed IVF attempts and the potential for complications can be significant deterrents.
That being said, plenty of women have conceived well into their 40s. Get your fertility assessment and know your options.
6- Solo Parenting Struggles:
Parenting is undoubtedly challenging, and doing it alone comes with additional hurdles.
Today, my 11-month-old learned to stand up in her crib and would not lay back down to take her nap. Just stood there and cried till she fell asleep standing.
From temper tantrums to school problems, the responsibilities of being both a mom and a dad can be overwhelming.
Recognizing personal energy levels and patience thresholds is crucial, especially for those who may feel unequipped to handle it alone.
7- Desire for Personal Freedom:
Becoming a single mother often means a significant lifestyle shift. Those who cherish freedom, spontaneity, and minimal responsibilities may find the prospect of parenting incompatible with their preferred way of life.
Unless you have a team to support your baby, this may be challenging to keep your freedom.
Conclusion
The single mom by choice journey is one that demands careful consideration. I will say these are just considerations you need to work through, some you can overcome and prepare for, others you may not be able to.
You want to make sure your reasons for becoming a single mom by choice are not from reasons of fear.
Recognizing that this choice is not suitable for everyone is a crucial step in ensuring that those who embark on this path do so with the understanding and commitment necessary for this fulfilling journey.
-Reema
Have more questions, or need a sounding board through this stage of the process, find out more about my coaching service here
If you want to learn more about my journey of becoming a Choice Mom, I invite you to check out my ebook, where I share my personal experiences and provide the self-inquiry questions and resources to help you on your choice mom journey.
But, if you're ready to explore whether coaching is right for you, book a consult today. Together, we can navigate this process and ensure you have the guidance and support you need to make confident choices. Because no woman needs to go through this process alone.
